I love that you’re making space for this conversation. It is a very important topic and it’s very interesting to see it played out in the industry. I remember in art school I couldn’t understand how 70% of the school was female, but I only ever had one or two female professors. And I really had no idea about the statistics that you mentioned. It’s definitely tougher if you’re not white but I think we can do it.
To me you’re THE illustrator that is killing it and I just know that once you balance your baby and work life you’re gonna kill it even more. Like if I really think about it I only follow 3 male illustrators lol
The majority female/nb student body in art schools with like one or two female or nb profs REALLY angers me. Especially when male professors don't take the time to educate themselves on (or even be empathetic to) these issues a majority of their students will face in their professional careers. It's really sad and makes a bigger impact than people think.
Yes!! It’s a huge issue. You make a strong point that they don’t know and will never fully understand the struggles that we, as women illustrators, have to face. But the fact that we are talking about it is awesome! I definitely think the industry should be more transparent
Some of my favs are Rebecca Green, Yas Imamura, Vanessa Gillings, Taryn Knight, Claire Powell, and Sarah Gonzales; and that's just naming a few!
As a woman trying to get my foot in the door in the industry, it's definitely been weird to attend seminars and conferences and see so many women / femme presenting folks contrasted with the types of people winning awards and recognition (mostly men).
For a very long time I was a ✨very serious musical theatre actress✨ and one of the things that always confused me was that, despite how female dominated the industry is (both at an amateur and professional level), most shows had either 50/50 men/women for lead and speaking roles, or more male roles than female ones! Or in thinking about education: the vast majority of educators across the globe are women, yet the highest and more prestigious educators are majority male.
Women are really responsible for really pouring the love and passion into these industries, but tie an award or money or recognition to it and suddenly the men come out of the woodwork. Something about a man being involved suddenly seems to make things more 'serious.'
Whew long comment! Anyways, thank you for sharing-- motherhood is so vulnerable and your honesty around navigating career and raising a little one is so valuable!
Thank you for bringing this up Anoosha. Although I don't have a child, I've had the responsibility of caring for my older mom with dementia since my mid 20s and it is so much work to balance with freelancing. In all the support groups I'm in, most of the caretakers for ill/ elderly parents are women, some with children of their own. It's baffling how much (most) men don't have to worry about the burden of caretaking. Heck, I've been to illustrator events with older industry men who don't seem to do anything besides create art. What a luxury!
I want to believe our connection to caretaking makes our work rich in a different way. Maybe because caretaking connects us to others in a way "grindset" mentality does not?
Nothing has really changed since my son was born... 15 years ago. I had my design freelance career then and it was picking up, but I couldn't keep the pace with the industry with a baby, later toddler glued to me. When he was finally going to school, 6 years later, I was... 6 years behind in the opportunities and salary scale compared to my male designer buddies that graduated at the same time than myself, who also had now some prizes and moved on to art directing.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my kid. But I was somehow brought up to believe I could accomplish so much more than what I managed to do and that led me to a burnout in my late 30ies and a sour feeling that I somehow missed out on something.
As of everything, the more we talk and share, the more it will shed light on the disparity in male vs female art careers. Let's tip the scale in the right direction.
It is really hard, Anoosha. Being a mom of three, my career is/was always the last item in my to-do list. I think this society pays way too much stress on us women and makes our success triple times harder. This is not to say you will not succeed, but success is going to look different too. Once your baby is older, there will be other stresses, preschool, schools, friends, etc. As a mom who completely gave up my career, I would say if I could do it again I would hire help if you could afford it and invest in friends and families who can give you practical help like meal shares, child care. You need to have that. You got this!!
Thanks for writing this and sharing honestly. I'm not a children's book illustrator, but I can relate to the frustrations you are experiencing. ITS SO HARD. All of it!!! Navigating post-partum and all the changes is something you just can't prepare for, especially when you have child that does not sleep well.
Well done for making space for your needs, and adapting to prioritise your health. I know its hard! Wishing you all the best in this transitional time!
This whole post resonates Anoosha. I planned on going back to my career as a biologist once my son was born, but after being home with him (and waiting so long to simple become a parent) I just couldn't do it. I thought I'd go back after several years, but then, technology moved so fast in my field it made it really hard to. And I didn't want to miss any milestones, so I worked part-time jobs.
I feel like we are fed these lies as woman that we can do it all. But we really can't. And I hate that it has to be US that has to make that decision.
After my first baby I also wanted to get back to work immediately and every other month would be a reset in that effort because of this exact thing- I would get overwhelmed and my baby would meet a new exciting and terrifying milestone that would hinder all my work! Now I just had my second and I made it a goal to finish all my freelance things and if I want to make new art, to only make it for myself. Reading this made me emotional tho because it still sucks that I can’t do it all- but I also know I’m not meant to and that’s ok
My kiddo is turning 10 this year so this was a while ago but I remember screaming all these same thoughts into late night twitter and getting mostly crickets back. Or vague “don’t worry it gets easier” messages from other parents (mostly men tbh). A few commiserations from other illustrator moms. But it didn’t get much better. My kid also decided sleep was for chumps. I couldn’t afford childcare so I was trying my best to work during naps and at night when she WASNT SLEEPING. Breastfeeding made it worse because I was the default parent, and it wasn’t his fault, she didn’t want him, because I had the goods. I had to cut back, and honestly my career has never quite recovered. But I was being crap and my job and also crap at being a mom and I had to choose just one thing to focus on and to be a little better at. I still find it very difficult to balance school pick ups and drop offs and the constant interruptions when I’m finally focussed and last minute laundry because she has no pants for tomorrow. (This is probably compounded by what I just at 38 found out is ADHD.) So, I wish I could say it gets better, even tho it’s a useless sentiment RIGHT NOW. But I’m still struggling a decade into it and I have no answers. Talking helps a little at least, and lowering expectations. I would also mention that this is how I feel with a husband who is very involved, and truly a partner, and my in-laws a few blocks away. We’re just not meant to raise kids in these small isolated units with so much less support than is really required to all be functional and happy.
Sorry for the late reply! Britt, I didn't even know you had a kid!!! I so admire everything you do and achieve, and if it's any consolation at all, from the outside you are a star and seem to be doing everything wonderfully. I hear from a lot of people that 'it gets easier' when I think you're right that it will never be the same but it's a mentality shift.
Ooof. Lots of the same here, Britt. Mine are 16/13, the first was an awful sleeper for years. I finally caved with a babysitter for a whopping 4hrs a week (but man, was I productive!). I really wish I had better support when my kids were tiny, it was isolating and exhausting. It gets a lot better once they are in school but I often think how straight 8hr days are in the rear-view. The interrupted style of working can be maddening, but that's really all there is.
Thank you Anoosha for sharing this! I really do think that guilt thing plays into it. Like I recently watched the David lynch documentary and in it he was talking about how he wish he had worked more — even though he admitted he wasn’t present for relationships. When I watch or read interviews with women creators, there is often more of a focus on life balance — on cultivating relationships and life outside of work. And I hear from so many friends the feeling that if they don’t do the home admin stuff, no one will. Like it just falls to them and their partner can only seem to focus on work but not managing a home/kids unless they are told specific tasks to do. Obviously everyone is different and there are exceptions, but I see this pattern a lot and it breaks my heart — especially when women have to say no to opportunities that they’ve been working towards as a result. Anyway I hear you and I’m with you ♥️
This post was a needed read, because it solidified why I do not want children and plan to never have them. Men can keep going and they get the most recognition because they don't give birth and most of them expect the woman to do all the rearing (some husbands do help but many don't!)
This post resonates with me so much, and your observation about men getting recognition in this field is so astute. Your writing speaks to me deeply because I was in a very similar place when my son was an infant. I had just signed with my literary agent (funny enough, I had my out-of-office reply turned on when she responded to my query, I quickly replied, and things picked up from there in my career!).
But when my kid was small, I felt like I had to "go back" to "normal" work hours, focus, headspace... all of it. And that was incredibly hard. I was trying to do Inktober while pumping :') Even though I’m lucky to have sweet friends and supportive parents, it was still a lonely experience in many ways. Though it was a while ago for me, know that you are not alone.
My husband went abroad for a bit while our son was still tiny, and I remember wondering, just like you describe, if I would have left as "easily" if the roles were reversed. I never wrote about it in my newsletter or blog because I just couldn’t form a coherent thought outside of client work and my own author-illustrated projects. Mom brain was so real.
So bravo for making this. Bravo for becoming a mom, for still being out there as an illustrator, for being honest, and for creating real connections with people. I applaud it and appreciate the space you’re giving others, too. It makes me feel seen. And, apparently, my mom brain is lifting, as I can form coherent thoughts on this topic!?
Fuck yeah, women can succeed, too! And when it is like you're sharing about it now: honestly, openly - I’m so here for it!
Reading this as a pregnant person about to embark on this exact journey, I can already see myself reflected in this! 🫠
I’ve already found myself trying to reduce my role before I’ve even left, knowing that I’ll try to throw myself into the same if not more when I return.
Love all of this. Before baby was crawling was just starting to feel creative again, but once baby was on the go, infinitely harder!!! Hope you get rest , you deserve it. My youngest is a toddler now. And some days are easier and some days are still really hard. I understand that my productivity is just not gonna be what it used to be!
I’m just entering the world of motherhood and boy has it been a transition! I know in time I’ll be able to reclaim parts of myself again, but my schedule is the more flexible one, so it’s the one that gets to flex.
As for female illustrators, I’m a big fan of Vera Brosgol (who has a Substack called Rat Cruise) and Kate Beaton.
I love that you’re making space for this conversation. It is a very important topic and it’s very interesting to see it played out in the industry. I remember in art school I couldn’t understand how 70% of the school was female, but I only ever had one or two female professors. And I really had no idea about the statistics that you mentioned. It’s definitely tougher if you’re not white but I think we can do it.
To me you’re THE illustrator that is killing it and I just know that once you balance your baby and work life you’re gonna kill it even more. Like if I really think about it I only follow 3 male illustrators lol
The majority female/nb student body in art schools with like one or two female or nb profs REALLY angers me. Especially when male professors don't take the time to educate themselves on (or even be empathetic to) these issues a majority of their students will face in their professional careers. It's really sad and makes a bigger impact than people think.
Yes!! It’s a huge issue. You make a strong point that they don’t know and will never fully understand the struggles that we, as women illustrators, have to face. But the fact that we are talking about it is awesome! I definitely think the industry should be more transparent
Yes to all of this!
Some of my favs are Rebecca Green, Yas Imamura, Vanessa Gillings, Taryn Knight, Claire Powell, and Sarah Gonzales; and that's just naming a few!
As a woman trying to get my foot in the door in the industry, it's definitely been weird to attend seminars and conferences and see so many women / femme presenting folks contrasted with the types of people winning awards and recognition (mostly men).
For a very long time I was a ✨very serious musical theatre actress✨ and one of the things that always confused me was that, despite how female dominated the industry is (both at an amateur and professional level), most shows had either 50/50 men/women for lead and speaking roles, or more male roles than female ones! Or in thinking about education: the vast majority of educators across the globe are women, yet the highest and more prestigious educators are majority male.
Women are really responsible for really pouring the love and passion into these industries, but tie an award or money or recognition to it and suddenly the men come out of the woodwork. Something about a man being involved suddenly seems to make things more 'serious.'
Whew long comment! Anyways, thank you for sharing-- motherhood is so vulnerable and your honesty around navigating career and raising a little one is so valuable!
Thank you for bringing this up Anoosha. Although I don't have a child, I've had the responsibility of caring for my older mom with dementia since my mid 20s and it is so much work to balance with freelancing. In all the support groups I'm in, most of the caretakers for ill/ elderly parents are women, some with children of their own. It's baffling how much (most) men don't have to worry about the burden of caretaking. Heck, I've been to illustrator events with older industry men who don't seem to do anything besides create art. What a luxury!
I want to believe our connection to caretaking makes our work rich in a different way. Maybe because caretaking connects us to others in a way "grindset" mentality does not?
Have had this thought many times and I’m glad to see I’m not the only one!
Is it me or are women less likely to get recognition for funny books/be told that their books need a moral as well?
Nothing has really changed since my son was born... 15 years ago. I had my design freelance career then and it was picking up, but I couldn't keep the pace with the industry with a baby, later toddler glued to me. When he was finally going to school, 6 years later, I was... 6 years behind in the opportunities and salary scale compared to my male designer buddies that graduated at the same time than myself, who also had now some prizes and moved on to art directing.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my kid. But I was somehow brought up to believe I could accomplish so much more than what I managed to do and that led me to a burnout in my late 30ies and a sour feeling that I somehow missed out on something.
As of everything, the more we talk and share, the more it will shed light on the disparity in male vs female art careers. Let's tip the scale in the right direction.
It is really hard, Anoosha. Being a mom of three, my career is/was always the last item in my to-do list. I think this society pays way too much stress on us women and makes our success triple times harder. This is not to say you will not succeed, but success is going to look different too. Once your baby is older, there will be other stresses, preschool, schools, friends, etc. As a mom who completely gave up my career, I would say if I could do it again I would hire help if you could afford it and invest in friends and families who can give you practical help like meal shares, child care. You need to have that. You got this!!
Thanks for writing this and sharing honestly. I'm not a children's book illustrator, but I can relate to the frustrations you are experiencing. ITS SO HARD. All of it!!! Navigating post-partum and all the changes is something you just can't prepare for, especially when you have child that does not sleep well.
Well done for making space for your needs, and adapting to prioritise your health. I know its hard! Wishing you all the best in this transitional time!
This whole post resonates Anoosha. I planned on going back to my career as a biologist once my son was born, but after being home with him (and waiting so long to simple become a parent) I just couldn't do it. I thought I'd go back after several years, but then, technology moved so fast in my field it made it really hard to. And I didn't want to miss any milestones, so I worked part-time jobs.
I feel like we are fed these lies as woman that we can do it all. But we really can't. And I hate that it has to be US that has to make that decision.
After my first baby I also wanted to get back to work immediately and every other month would be a reset in that effort because of this exact thing- I would get overwhelmed and my baby would meet a new exciting and terrifying milestone that would hinder all my work! Now I just had my second and I made it a goal to finish all my freelance things and if I want to make new art, to only make it for myself. Reading this made me emotional tho because it still sucks that I can’t do it all- but I also know I’m not meant to and that’s ok
My kiddo is turning 10 this year so this was a while ago but I remember screaming all these same thoughts into late night twitter and getting mostly crickets back. Or vague “don’t worry it gets easier” messages from other parents (mostly men tbh). A few commiserations from other illustrator moms. But it didn’t get much better. My kid also decided sleep was for chumps. I couldn’t afford childcare so I was trying my best to work during naps and at night when she WASNT SLEEPING. Breastfeeding made it worse because I was the default parent, and it wasn’t his fault, she didn’t want him, because I had the goods. I had to cut back, and honestly my career has never quite recovered. But I was being crap and my job and also crap at being a mom and I had to choose just one thing to focus on and to be a little better at. I still find it very difficult to balance school pick ups and drop offs and the constant interruptions when I’m finally focussed and last minute laundry because she has no pants for tomorrow. (This is probably compounded by what I just at 38 found out is ADHD.) So, I wish I could say it gets better, even tho it’s a useless sentiment RIGHT NOW. But I’m still struggling a decade into it and I have no answers. Talking helps a little at least, and lowering expectations. I would also mention that this is how I feel with a husband who is very involved, and truly a partner, and my in-laws a few blocks away. We’re just not meant to raise kids in these small isolated units with so much less support than is really required to all be functional and happy.
Sorry for the late reply! Britt, I didn't even know you had a kid!!! I so admire everything you do and achieve, and if it's any consolation at all, from the outside you are a star and seem to be doing everything wonderfully. I hear from a lot of people that 'it gets easier' when I think you're right that it will never be the same but it's a mentality shift.
Ooof. Lots of the same here, Britt. Mine are 16/13, the first was an awful sleeper for years. I finally caved with a babysitter for a whopping 4hrs a week (but man, was I productive!). I really wish I had better support when my kids were tiny, it was isolating and exhausting. It gets a lot better once they are in school but I often think how straight 8hr days are in the rear-view. The interrupted style of working can be maddening, but that's really all there is.
Thank you Anoosha for sharing this! I really do think that guilt thing plays into it. Like I recently watched the David lynch documentary and in it he was talking about how he wish he had worked more — even though he admitted he wasn’t present for relationships. When I watch or read interviews with women creators, there is often more of a focus on life balance — on cultivating relationships and life outside of work. And I hear from so many friends the feeling that if they don’t do the home admin stuff, no one will. Like it just falls to them and their partner can only seem to focus on work but not managing a home/kids unless they are told specific tasks to do. Obviously everyone is different and there are exceptions, but I see this pattern a lot and it breaks my heart — especially when women have to say no to opportunities that they’ve been working towards as a result. Anyway I hear you and I’m with you ♥️
This post was a needed read, because it solidified why I do not want children and plan to never have them. Men can keep going and they get the most recognition because they don't give birth and most of them expect the woman to do all the rearing (some husbands do help but many don't!)
This post resonates with me so much, and your observation about men getting recognition in this field is so astute. Your writing speaks to me deeply because I was in a very similar place when my son was an infant. I had just signed with my literary agent (funny enough, I had my out-of-office reply turned on when she responded to my query, I quickly replied, and things picked up from there in my career!).
But when my kid was small, I felt like I had to "go back" to "normal" work hours, focus, headspace... all of it. And that was incredibly hard. I was trying to do Inktober while pumping :') Even though I’m lucky to have sweet friends and supportive parents, it was still a lonely experience in many ways. Though it was a while ago for me, know that you are not alone.
My husband went abroad for a bit while our son was still tiny, and I remember wondering, just like you describe, if I would have left as "easily" if the roles were reversed. I never wrote about it in my newsletter or blog because I just couldn’t form a coherent thought outside of client work and my own author-illustrated projects. Mom brain was so real.
So bravo for making this. Bravo for becoming a mom, for still being out there as an illustrator, for being honest, and for creating real connections with people. I applaud it and appreciate the space you’re giving others, too. It makes me feel seen. And, apparently, my mom brain is lifting, as I can form coherent thoughts on this topic!?
Fuck yeah, women can succeed, too! And when it is like you're sharing about it now: honestly, openly - I’m so here for it!
Reading this as a pregnant person about to embark on this exact journey, I can already see myself reflected in this! 🫠
I’ve already found myself trying to reduce my role before I’ve even left, knowing that I’ll try to throw myself into the same if not more when I return.
I highly suggest the books Mother Artist and Matrescence. They are both life changing (I had my first almost a year ago!)
Love all of this. Before baby was crawling was just starting to feel creative again, but once baby was on the go, infinitely harder!!! Hope you get rest , you deserve it. My youngest is a toddler now. And some days are easier and some days are still really hard. I understand that my productivity is just not gonna be what it used to be!
I’m just entering the world of motherhood and boy has it been a transition! I know in time I’ll be able to reclaim parts of myself again, but my schedule is the more flexible one, so it’s the one that gets to flex.
As for female illustrators, I’m a big fan of Vera Brosgol (who has a Substack called Rat Cruise) and Kate Beaton.